How to Love Better

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel

Parenting is sacred work. But for parents raising children on the spectrum, it can also be an around-the-clock calling — one that demands more patience, presence, and grace than most ever see.

Many describe it as living in constant awareness — always alert, always tuned in. It’s not just about the visible moments of challenge; it’s the unseen ones — the late nights, the meltdowns, the appointments, the routines that can’t be broken, the constant balancing of therapies, school, and self. It’s the emotional and physical fatigue that rarely pauses.

And yet, even in the weariness, there’s love — deep, fierce, and unwavering.

So, how can we — friends, family, communities — hold space for those who carry so much?

Here is how to start:

1. Show up, even when you don’t know what to say.

You don’t need the perfect words. Sometimes, the ministry of presence is enough — a cup of tea shared in silence, a short text that says, “Thinking of you today.”

Consistency is the loudest form of love.

2. Offer practical help, not just sympathy.

Ask, “Can I help you with grocery shopping this week?” or “Would you like me to sit with your child while you nap?”It’s the small acts — meals dropped off, errands done, a few hours of rest — that build lifelines for exhausted parents.

3. Listen without trying to fix.

Parents don’t need solutions as much as they need safe spaces to release what they carry. Resist the urge to explain or compare — just listen. Your compassion is what heals, not your advice.

4. Celebrate their child — not despite, but because of who they are.

See the beauty, the joy, the spark. Learn their child’s interests, their quirks, their brilliance. Speak life into that child’s identity. Every word of affirmation reminds the parent that their child is seen and valued.

5. Remember the parent is still a person too.

They are more than the routines, the therapies, or the advocacy. Ask them about their dreams, their joy, their heart. Sometimes what a parent needs most is to be reminded they still exist beyond caregiving.

6. Pray for them — and with them.

Parenting on the spectrum is a journey of faith. Pray for strength when they feel empty, for rest when they are weary, and for peace that steadies their heart.

Our final thoughts

To love a parent raising a child with autism is to walk beside them — quietly, faithfully, and without judgment.

Your kindness becomes rest.

Your presence becomes peace.

And in your love, they find the strength to keep going one day at a time.